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Secede, Texas, Secede

Funny things keep happening in America. Texas, it seems, has never stopped dreaming about secession from the USA. A few days ago, the Governor of Texas – Mr. Rick Perry – refused to rule it out as an option for Texas:

“There’s a lot of different scenarios,” Perry said. “We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.” [HuffPo]

Hendrik Hertzberg of The New Yorker translates that into “New Yorkese”: “Nice little Union you got there. Be a shame if anything happened to it.” Heh.

He then goes on to speculate about how things might turn out if Texas and friends (“Federated States”) actually did secede from the Union:

The Federated States, meanwhile, could get on with the business of protecting the sanctity of marriage, mandating organized prayer sessions and the teaching of creationism in schools, and giving the theory that eliminating taxes increases government revenues a fair test. Although Texas and the other likely F.S. states already conduct some eighty-six per cent of executions, their death rows remain clogged with thousands of prisoners kept alive by meddling judges. These would be rapidly cleared out, providing more prison space for abortion providers. Although there might be some economic dislocation at first, the F.S. could remedy this by taking advantage of its eligibility for OPEC membership and arranging a new “oil shock.” Failing that, foreign aid could be solicited from Washington. But the greatest benefit would be psychological: freed from the condescension of metropolitan élites and Hollywood degenerates, the new country could tap its dormant creativity and develop a truly distinctive Way of Life. [New Yorker]

There is a lot more where that excerpt came from. Read the whole thing, as they say.

The movement for Texas to secede is gaining support though. Among non-Texan Americans, that is.

Meanwhile, the patriotic Texan – Governor Perry – has requested federal aid to stop Swine Flu:

Gov. Rick Perry today in a precautionary measure requested the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provide 37,430 courses of antiviral medications from the Strategic National Stockpile to Texas to prevent the spread of swine flu. Currently, three cases of swine flu have been confirmed in Texas. [San Marcos Record]

Gov. Perry should have known – the karmic bitch is all bite, no bark.

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