Dear Sheeple,
In what universe is the Indian “common man” privileged enough to travel “cattle class” by air? Given the extent of poverty in India, any Indian who travels by air is not “common man” in any sense. He is middle class, of course.
And while you create a brouhaha about nothing, the real “common man” is struggling for “do waqt ki roti“. He has no time to waste on appreciating your austerity drives.
Do everyone a favour and shut up. That’s an austerity drive we can all support.
Yours truly,
Overlord
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I guess that’s the sort of headline that might run in the minds of some folks when they read about the Gujarat bypoll results.
BJP trounced Congress winning five out of seven seats – including Congress bastions like Jasdan and Chotila – raising its tally in the 182-member assembly from 117 to 121. The saffron party, however, lost Kodinar and Dhoraji. What makes BJP’s revenge sweeter is the fact that Congress had won six out of these seven seats in 2007. [TOI]
Please note that out of the 7 seats for which polls were held, as many as 6 were with Congress just a couple of years ago.
Of course, if you are a committed conspiracy nut, you could also just assume that the Congress did not rig these elections precisely so that they could neutralise people like you (the world revolves arounds you, isn’t that how you’ve always felt?) – and then rig the next election – the one that really matters!
Related posts: May 17, May 19 (long post on EVMs), September 9
Dear Facebook Users,
Everyone knows what day of the week it is. Stop updating “What’s on your mind?” with “Uff.. Monday again :(“, “Friday! Yay.com!” and other such inanities.
It is bad enough that Monday has to happen every week. Nobody needs reminders for this. Especially if you start moaning about it on Sunday itself and ruin the day for those who are trying to ignore Monday for as long as they can. Ditto about Fridays. Yes, most of us are looking forward to the end of the week. But you don’t have to add to the agony of the wait with some variation of “Can’t wait for weekend to start”.
Seriously, just stop it already.
Yours truly,
Overlord
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Dear BJP,
While you recover from a crushing defeat and go into introspective mode, try to stay away from blogs written by supposedly pro-BJP bloggers. They are full of advice, and god-damn it, they’ll give it to you.
With a handful of notable exceptions (you might still want to read Offstumped, but avoid his comment feed), most of these bloggers have no clue whatsoever about the elections, campaigning, and ground realities.
With hardly any exception, they were euphoric till about 8:52 AM IST on May 16 (mainstream media changed tune a few minutes before that). Seriously, of all kinds of political analysts, bloggers were the last to get the memo on this election’s results.
In fact, here is a rule of thumb: If a post mentions any of the following words, just close the browser and take a short walk outside:
- Obama
- Internet
- Social Media
- Twitter
- Blogs/Bloggers
- Website
- Congress
- Sonia/Rahul Gandhi
That’s just a sample and it is not an absolute rule, but I can’t do the heavy lifting for you. God helps those who help themselves, etc. Just avoid blogs, and listen to your MPs and your cadre instead.
Yours truly,
Overlord
PS: I know that I am giving you advice via a blog too, but I am hoping that you’ll stop reading from NOW!
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Dear Conspiracy Theorist NRIs,
The Indian Electronic Voting Machines are different from American EVMs in many, many ways. It is my sincere hope that you’ll keep that in mind in future and refrain from making statements to the effect of “OMG, they are both electronic and hence both can be hacked” or “OMG, the party I support in internet forums has lost, so the electronic voting machines must have been hacked – just like in the USA, where I live”.
Regardless of whether the Indian EVMs were, or can be, hacked, there are no relevant parallels between the two situations.
Seriously, it is fucking irritating.
Yours truly,
Overlord
Further reading:
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